The apprentice: "But that makes four thirds already!"
"Well - just take a larger pot!"
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The math teacher asks his students: "What is 9 times 7?"
He gets several answers - all are either 62 or 65.
"Come one - the correct answer can either be 62 or 65!"
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"That math prof's marriage is falling apart!"
"No wonder! He's into scientific computing - and she's incalculable!"
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A woman in a bar tries to pick up a mathematician.
"How old, do you think, am I?" she asks coyly.
"Well - 18 by that fire in your eyes, 19 by that glow on your cheeks, 20 by that radiance of your face, and adding that up is something you can probably do for yourself..."
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Theorem. A cat has nine tails.
Proof. No cat has eight tails. Since one cat has one more tail than no cat, it must have nine tails.
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Trigonometry for farmers: swine and coswine...
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Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.
The boy says: "It's a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!"
The girl replies: "No - it's a cosin, silly!!!"
